Wednesday, May 23, 2012

freely searching.

Welcome to the life of false anxiety attacks and toothy smiles.
I tried to find myself this year; tried and probably succeeded. 
I have gained this new thing called independence,
not just from the natural withdrawal of my parent's insurance, but from learning for myself.
My body can now function without manipulative strangers.
I'm Free.
When you find yourself alone in a crowded place, you learn to think for yourself.
And I did.
I know what happened from August to May,
me and my head introduced each other, and questions were answered,
and the rest of the world will never understand. 
Higher powers call it growth, and they encourage me to continue in my insight,
I'll make them proud.
My posterity can read my Journal entries from this past year,
I'll briefly read through my awkward phrases and redundant metaphors,
then i'll focus on the blank pages, where college boys and heavy books and english papers and burnt macaroni and grass stains and Sunday drives and expired bread and cleaning checks and reunion lunches will occupy the open spaces in my refreshed mind.
that sound's nice.

I'm a former hypochondriac and enjoy a good milkshake. 
or in other words,
I've found myself.

Sunday, May 6, 2012


Jacob Smoot is, what he thinks, a regular 28 year old man just beginning to figure out what life is. He has a beautiful girlfriend and a steady job. He was in a "unexplained" accident when he was 20 and can't remember his life before, but he's now content with what he has. While on a business trip in Seattle, Washington, he walks into a restaurant and passes 6 people who stare at him as he passes by. Being paranoid, he immediately walks out, but only to find all 6 of them surrounding him. They tell him that he was the President of a secret time traveling organization called "Savers" years ago.  The 6 people explain that they are the team leaders within the organization and how they thought he was dead when he was abducted from the "Takers" 8 years ago. They Savers couldn't function without him and shut down the organization, leaving the world to potentially self-destruct. The leaders ask him to restart the organization to fix the past and future world that the Takers have destroyed. 
Can he trust the 6 people?
Would he be willing to leave his perfect life to believe in the Savers?
With his memory loss, will he be able to handle the risks of the Savers Organization?

3 years

This is something for the pre-highschoolers,
who dream for the day of walking out of their mothers mini van to the doors of independence
You're hormonal and stupid,
put down your Juicy Juice and listen
Change is only for the better
Find friends who make you smarter
Fall in love, Don't be in love
Try out for things
You'll have awkward door step scenes, accept it now
No boyfriends/girlfriends or unnecessary PDA; Use perspective
Take AP classes
Listen to Music Artists your age, they can always say it better
Love your parents, love your curfew
Do one SMALL act of stupid rebellion, just to tell your kids someday
Go on Sunday drives, it's relieving
Be friends to every Stereotype
Bring your own lunch to school
Go to Dances and Football games
Have crushes
Talk to people who eat lunch by themselves
Go to midnight movie premieres
Buy people pretty cupcakes when they're sad
Have dreams past Prom and Graduation
oh, and
Watch the High School Musicals 
because there's something about going into High School with high expectations..... don't be shocked when the only spontaneous song and dance comes from a kid jamming to punk music on his ipod after a math test. It's called reality.
Good Luck Tweens
May Puberty be ever in your favor

Friday, May 4, 2012


"So you want to know how your life will turn out?"


"You won't like it."

"It can't be that bad."

"You're going to fail. You're going to realize that life doesn't consist of warm nights and hot breakfast. His hand will break from yours and you will feel worthless. You're going to have 526 sleepless nights, where your thoughts will run too fast. You'll make excuses, too many. To your own disappointment, you'll learn the hard way and have unrealistic dreams. You'll get wrinkles and stretch marks. At times, you won't be prepared for whats to come. Your family will be tested, your children will suffer. You'll have unexplainable heart ache and feel isolated from the faces around you.
You're going to fail, darling. I'm sorry."

" could thi..."

"You're going to succeed. You're going to realize that life is like warm nights and hot breakfast. His hand will break from yours and you will feel opportunity. You're going to have 526 sleepless nights, where your thoughts will be too happy to rest. You'll make excuses, everyone does. To your own relief, you'll learn how to grow and have endless dreams. You'll get smiling wrinkles and stretch marks from having children. At times, you will be prepared for whats to come. Your family will be tested, your children will understand. You'll have a big heart and feel included in the faces around you. 
You're going to succeed, darling. Congratulations."

"What?...I don't understand. Which one?"

"You choose."

Sunday, April 22, 2012


A picture is worth a thousand ONE word.
Who claims their worth anyways?
Dang those cliches.
Here ya go.

Kings of Insecurity

We began as extraordinary, remember who you are

Sunday, April 1, 2012

Come, Listen

when you have nothing to say
because it's all been said earlier.
It's one of those days.